If there’s one film genre that has reverence for the one-liner, it’saction. Sure, Freddy Krueger can dish out a quip or two, but when it comes down to it there’s nobody better than Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, or Jason Statham.
Even Steven Seagal can get a decent line in every now and then. By this point in time, when there’s an action movie hero—especially one who has appeared in a prior film—it’s pretty much stone-cold (Steve Austin) they’re going to be spouting a one-liner at someone who’s about to catch a bullet.
There are a few lines inthe second-best Mad Max movie,The Road Warrior,that have become as inextricably linked toSouth Parkas they have the source. For instance, Max’s calmly delivered offer to a group of struggling innocents, perpetually surrounded by brutal road-traversing gangs.
Like the aforementioned gangs, Max is a wanderer in the now-decimated world. But, he has at least a moderately-present code of ethics. So, when he sternly delivers his proposal (it’s more of a trade than an act of altruism), both his audience and the theatrical audience know he’s serious, and there’s little chance he’ll mess them over. That’s an action hero…just a very internally conflicted one (hard not to be after most of the Earth’s population has been eradicated).
13"Call Me Snake." — Snake Plissken in Escape from New York (1981)
John Carpenter’sEscape from New Yorkis without a doubt one ofthe most atmospheric action films, 1980s or otherwise. And Snake Plissken…Oh, Snake Plissken, what a character.
If ever there were a protagonist in a film who couldn’t give less of a solitary s**t, it’s Kurt Russell’s lead inEscape from New York. This attitude holds stable in the sequel,Escape from L.A., but whereasNew Yorkwas clever and well-written,L.A.was simply too much. That said, in both films, Russell plays both the ultimate unwilling protagonist and the ultimate unwitting protagonist. No one is honest with Snake, and that’s probably the very word he uses when thinking of their chosen levels of honesty. So, he might as well be just as elusive and unpredictable with them. Just cut through the pretense and call him Snake.
12"It’s Not the Years, Honey, It’s the Mileage." — Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
Steven Spielberg’sRaiders of the Lost Arkis a marvel, a rarity in which every element clicks exactly as it should. But it wouldn’t be that way were it not for Harrison Ford in the role of Indiana Jones.
Jones needs to be cool, regardless of the situation. Whether it’s a rolling bolder or a sword-twirling assassin, he’s a cucumber. Not one human on the planet in 1981 (or, really, now) could do that better than Ford. He was nearly 40 when the original Indy came out, but “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.” And, even if just viewed as Indy, Ford has gotten much more mileage over the years.
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11"I Don’t Think You Understand. I Didn’t Come to Rescue Rambo from You. I Came Here to Rescue You from Him." — First Blood (1982)
The first Rambo movie,First Blood, probably isn’t what the layman has in mind when the character’s name is brought up. They’re thinking of one of the sequels, particularly the second or third.
But the original film still has that one-man-versus-an-army vibe, it’s just kept at a realistic level as opposed to its successors' increasingly ludicrous nature. It also has Richard Crenna’s Colonel Sam Trautman delivering one of cinema’s best “No…it’sYouwho’s in trouble” line. Specifically, the ignorant Sheriff William Teasle is in a tent, fog coasting in from all sides as he plans his next sadistic move to bring down the heroic veteran (mostly to cover his own butt). Trautman confidently enters and, after a brief fruitless conversation with the arrogant sheriff, the veteran tells the man the truth: He is not the one with the upper hand, and lying to himself about that won’t do a darn thing.
The original, and best,Dirty Harryhas the best monologue of the franchise, without a doubt. Harry Callahan stands over a robber (played by Albert Popwell, who would play different characters in four of the fiveDirty Harryfilms), gun in hand and says “.44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya…punk?”
It’s an absolutely amazing line, but it’s pretty darn far from heroic. That said, his other iconic line, in the fourth film,Sudden Impact, is much more in line with the standard vernacular of the action hero. Specifically, while in a restaurant, Harry faces off with another armed criminal; He too, of course is armed, and calmly growls “Go ahead, make my day.”
9"Come with Me if You Want to Live." — The Terminator (1984)
The Terminatoris anaction movie that functions as a slasher, and like all slashers it has a body count. But there’s someone standing in the way of that body count getting any higher (at least higher by one), and that’s future soldier Kyle Reese.
Reese, like the T-800, has come back in time. But, whereas the T-800 has the goal of killing Sarah Connor, Reese has the intention of saving her or die trying. He does both, all thanks to gaining Connor’s trust with the line “Come with me if you want to live.” Hard to say no to that after seeing a seven-foot tall man shoot up a nightclub and survive a shotgun blast.
8"You’re A Funny Guy, Sully, I Like You. That’s Why I’m Going to Kill You Last." — John Matrix in Commando (1985)
Arnold Schwarzenegger mostly sticks to action movies. And, as far as straightforward action movies go,Commandoranks high, and not just in his filmography.
Every story beat that should be hit (kidnapping, shootouts at a compound, drugs, mercenaries) is hit, and hit well. This is at least partially owed to the script by Steven E. de Souza, which is way smarter than it’s given credit for. It’s a script that knows what its audience wants, and it gives it to them. Take, for instance, John Matrix’s several interactions with Sully, played to smarmy perfection byThe WarriorsandJohn Wick’s David Patrick Kelly. First, he promises to kill the jerk last. Then, he reveals he lied, and let’s Sully take a tumble off a mountain.
7"Let Off Some Steam, Bennett." — John Matrix in Commando (1985)
Commandois one of the definitive silly action movies, and the silliness extends to its sadistic villains. Sully is silly in his own right, because he’s just a low-level crook with a high opinion of himself.
But then there’s Vernon Wells’ Bennett, a former ally of John Matrix’s who now has an almost sexually-related desire to drag a knife across Matrix’s neck. He constantly tells Matrix how much he wants to kill him, but no Genie ever arrives to grant him his wish. In fact, quite the opposite.
6"Get Away from Her, You Bi***!" — Aliens (1986)
Almost certainly the most iconic line of an already iconic franchise,Aliens' “Get away from her, you b****” is achunk of dialogue that’s often brought up. This includes in other movies, such asScream 2.
Sigourney Weaver was nominated for an Academy Award for her work inAliens, which is simultaneously a testament to the strength of her performance just as much as it is a slight against the Academy’s bias against genre films. Weaver’s Ripley has gone from survivor to warrior mother, and the fact that her arc feels so organic throughout the film helps her iconic line in the climax feel much the same. The Queen Xenomorph is headed right for “Newt,” but then the elevator doors slide open and out steps Ripley with a firm command from one mother to another: “Get away from her, you bi***!”
5"You’re A Disease, and I’m the Cure." — Cobra (1986)
A solidshort action movie with zero filler,Cobrafeatures Sylvester Stallone at the top of his game. This hold true even if the script isn’t as up to the task as he is. Really, the best performance of the film is Brian Thompson’s preposterously underrated work in the villainous role of the Night Slasher.
Could Thompson have gotten away with justlookingincredibly intimidating, but once he dives into his empassioned third-act, metal factory monologue it’s clear he has as much control of the room as the ultra-confident Marion Cobretti. The Night Slasher doesn’t care if he lives or dies, and he outright invites his main foe to join him in the third act. Such a boisterous and sadistic villain requires an equally confident adversary, and “Cobra” makes it clear in the opening scene he’s just that, when he tells a convenience store robber “You’re a disease and I’m the cure.”
