The four members of the Seinfeld gang have always been compulsively narcissistic, opinionated, and headstrong; all qualities that put them at odds with anyone in authority. Jerry is the only one of theSeinfeldgang to escape the scrutiny of a superior; indeed, as the real Seinfeld would no doubt attest, there is no one superior to him.
Watching Elaine, George, and Kramer try and navigate a professional world is like watching your rural grandfather try and pull into a parallel parking space. They tend to be unflexible, poorly oriented, and probably bump a few people along the way. Now imagine trying to manage that kind of personality, and that might help explain the more eccentric personalities on the list.
These are the funniest bosses fromSeinfeld, ranked.
16Sid Farkus
Oft-remarked upon associate whom George’s father hounds him to meet with, bra salesman Sid Farkus may be Frank Costanza’s only friend we ever meet. In fifth season episode “The Sniffing Accountant,” George actually gets hired by Sid to join E.D. Granmont bras, as a comically hardworking version of himself that we, the viewer, know does not exist.
Sid Farkus: “See you Monday, 9 o' clock.”
George: “If you don’t mind, sir, I’ll be here at 8.”
His success is short-lived, however, as just outside Farkus' office, he takes a cue from Elaine’s new boyfriend, touching the fabric of a beautiful woman waiting for the elevator. Highly offended, she turns out to be Ms. De Granmont herself, and puts the kibosh on George’s future at the company.
In the following season, Farkus appears again in “The Doorman,” hearing a pitch from Frank and Kramer for the first chest support garment made specifically for men, the Mansierre/Bro. The idea might have even taken off, had Farkus not taken advantage of the Costanza’s separation to ask Frank permission to court Estelle. It’s kind of sweet, knowing how much Frank still cares for his wife.
15Harry (H&H Bagels)
Harry is the boss of H&H Bagels, which is anactual bagel shop in NYC. In season nine episode “The Strike,” it’s revealed that Kramer hasn’t actually been unemployed, he’s just been on strike for the last twelve years. Now that the minimum wage has reached the demand the workers were striking for, he returns, and a bewildered Harry actually gives him his job back, stating that he could use someone for the holidays. Just when it looks as though the gang will be swimming in free day-old bagels, Kramer tries to take a day off to celebrate Frank Costanza’s homemade holiday, Festivus. Harry’s insistence that there’s no right of employees to celebrate new holidays send Kramer right back out to the picket line, which of course is just him standing outside with a cup of coffee, yelling.
Related:Seinfeld: The Funniest Episodes Featuring George’s Parents
Last we heard, he was leaving the Festivus celebration early to pull a bagel shift after folding on his own strike. In his defense, he really needed to use their bathroom.
14Rick Levitan
In season 2 episode “The Revenge,” Mr. Levitan is the proverbial fat cat, misogynist executive who issues a memo, directed at George for using his executive washroom, that employees are to use the men’s room in the hall (the one they share with Pace Electronics. It’s disgusting). Fed up, George storms into his office, insults him to his face, and quits. Later, at Jerry’s place, it occurs to him how unqualified he is for virtually every other job, even tossing around the idea of working in baseball (George wouldn’t come to work for the Yankees until season 5).
“Maybe you could just… go back.”
On Jerry’s advice, George just shows back up to the staff meeting on Monday, but is quickly shown the door. Ever persistent, he hatches a plan to slip Mr. Levitan a Mickey in his drink during an office party that weekend. After recruiting Elaine to distract him, who joins up for moral reasons (he cheats on his wife. And he doesn’t recycle!), the plan goes forward without a hitch. A couple hitches. Honestly, it all blows up in his face.
13Mr. Tuttle
Mr. Tuttle likes George because he understands everything immediately, and doesn’t need to have anything repeated to him. He even wants George to have a job at his rest stop supply company. “Of course…”
That’s how things are left during George’s interview in season 5’s “The Barber.” Tuttle gets a phone call, and George doesn’t know if he has the job or not. So, in another inspired case of Just Show Up, George just shows up. Tuttleis on vacationfor a week, and the rest of the staff assumes George is the new hire. He’s quickly put to work on the Pensky file, and after accomplishing virtually nothing for a week, anxiously awaits Tuttle’s return. Of course…
12Mr. Pensky
…George may be Pensky material. Mr. Pensky himself visits the office to check on George’s progress. The totality of work George has done is transfer the contents of the file to an accordion-style file folder, but Pensky is nonetheless impressed. He attempts to hire George away from Tuttle, which comes none too soon, since Tuttle, who’s finger seems closer to the pulse, realizes that George is clueless almost immediately upon returning.
“Ta ta, Tut-tel.”
Of course, Pensky’s board of directors is under indictment, and is prohibited from doing business until the investigation is completed. The buttons where George eats crow are always the best.
11Mr. Leland
Kramer doesn’t even really work here. That’s what makes this addition to the list so difficult. In season 8 episode “The Bizarro Jerry,” George sneaks Kramer into a high rise office building, promising himthe best bathroomin Midtown.
After Kramer exits the bathroom, he gets roped into a board meeting. Pretty soon, he’s got a three-piece suit and a briefcase full of Ritz crackers, doing some TCB (taking care of business) at professional investment firm Brandt-Leland. Paycheck-free, of course. He’s doing this “just for me.”
The best moment of the episode is when Kramer finally lets on that he knows the emperor is wearing no clothes, telling Leland that he can’t be fired, because he doesn’t even really work there.
10Susan Ross
Despite becoming George’s girlfriend, then ex, then a lesbian, then George’s girlfriend/fiancée again, then dying from licking the toxic adhesives found in the low-priced envelopes containing their wedding invitations (they were expecting about 200 guests), Susan Ross began her journey on the show as an executive at NBC in season 4 episode “The Pitch.”
During the show-within-a-show arc, in which Jerry and George pitch a sitcom,Jerry, to NBC, George tries to get the edge by asking out Susan, one of the executives in charge of greenlighting the show. She ends up becoming the show’s champion, shepherding it past a skeptical Russell Dalrymple, President of NBC.
And what does she get for her trouble? A kiss from George, an unprofessional move in Russell’s eyes, which leads to her getting fired. Also in that same season, Kramer throws up on her, burns down her family’s prized country cabin, and exposes her father Henry’s homosexual affair and correspondence with author John Cheever.
“Dear Henry,
Last night with you was bliss. I fear my orgasm has left me acripple. I don’t know how I shall ever get back to work. I love you madly.
P.S. Loved the cabin.”
Poor Susan. Although in retrospect, she’s one of the few bosses whom George ever gets the better of.
9Mr. Thomassoulo
George’s relationship with Mr. Thomassoulo at playground equipment company Play Now is a direct result of his second envelope-related mishap. The accident has left George reliant on a cane for a few months while his body rehabilitates. Mistaking the cane as a sign of a permanent physical impairment, George is givenlicense to disabled benefits, including access to his own personal handicapped bathroom. In a life filled with ignoble behavior, George hits a new low by rolling with the tide and faking a permanent handicap.
It’s a late-season move, because we have to have already known and loved George for a while to let him get away with this one. Even Jerry is pretty disgusted by it.
“George, I realize that we’ve signed a one-year contract with you. But at this point,I think it’s best if we both go our separate ways.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We don’t like you. We want you to leave.”
“Clearer.”
Of course, Mr. Thomassoulo eventually witnesses George using both his legs, and tries to fire him. An office squabble turns to fatwa with each party upping the ante, with Thomassoulo trying to get George to stay and George doing what he does best — annoying people.
8Mr. Wilhelm
George’s direct superior at the Yankees always seems to be just thick enough to go along with George’s indiscretions while working for the legendary baseball team. The sort of conduct that goes over his head includes George’s daily naps, an illicit affair with his secretary, and he erroneously fires colleague Mr. Morgan for George’s mistakes. In the meantime, he mistakenly accuses George of stealing equipment from the locker room (and all of Mr. Steinbrenner’s vitamins), exploding in a cloud of epithets while on the phone to reps from the Houston Astros, and in a final proof of feeble-mindedness, is brainwashed by a carpet cleaning cult to join their ranks, renaming himself Tanya.
7Russell Dalrymple
The sedate President of NBC, Russell Dalrymple, is the man to impress is Jerry and George want to get their sitcom,Jerry, on the air. Although he is initially unimpressed with the concept of a show about nothing (solidifying his resistance once he catches George peeking at his teenaged daughter’s cleavage), the boys concoct a plan to ensnare Dalrymple himself in a mid-cleavage peek.
“You don’t think I can attract attention? You don’t think I could put a***s in the seats?” — Elaine
Well, not so much a plan, as they discuss the possibility in front of Elaine, who takes umbrage with not being attractive enough to catch Russell’s eye. In pursuit of proving them wrong, she inadvertently gets Russell obsessed with her, and he drops his cushy executive job to join Greenpeace, simply on Elaine’s whim that his work isn’t substantive enough. After leaving NBC, a new president is in charge, who kills theJerrysitcom. There’s a lot of plot juggling around this character, but it’sbeloved character actor Bob Balaban’sperformance that gives him a peculiar charm.
